An ocean filled with roses

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Sometimes my emotions are so raw they feel like glass. I feel frozen. I feel like if I move I will surly get cut. If I look back and cry a shard will slice through my arm and cut off my hand. If I look forward and put on a smile a shard will slice through my leg and cut off my foot. But … [Read more...]

He screamed at me quietly

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Last I posted, it was about the field. I wrote about the night I spend laying on my back in that memory-filled, grassy, high school soccer field. I wrote about the night when I needed help to rise and go back home. At the time I thought that was intense. Looking back now, it makes me laugh. I didn't … [Read more...]

Through Another Person

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It started out with a bad week. Everyone has them. A day where things go wrong and you have to struggle to breathe or not strangle your children, followed by another day with more problems and self-restraint, and then before you know it the whole week is almost gone and you no longer feel like you. … [Read more...]

I just want to stay up

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My emotions and mind go a thousand miles an hour. There is always something to think about. My to-do list is slowly getting smaller but there is still always something to be done. I have a newborn and a toddler. There is always a baby to care for. All these things exhaust me. But sometimes... I … [Read more...]

Happy one month birthday buddy!

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Jonah turned one month old yesterday!! This calm, strong, determined little boy entered this world with drama surrounding him and tragedy to soon follow. Since the day he was born he was perfect. Perfect as a person and perfect for us. It's amazing how God's plan plays out. God knew he had to take … [Read more...]

The day I buried my husband

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I woke up on Saturday morning. Mornings are the hardest. It hits me all over again before I even open my tear stained emerald eyes. When my feet hit the floor my husband won't be there. He won't be sleeping in our warm bed. He won't be tending to one of our small children. He won't be in the … [Read more...]

Your husband has died

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I like to write. It's therapeutic for me. I haven't been doing it much lately because my life was awesome. It was pretty much perfect. I didn't need any therapy. I was happy. Super happy. No major issues, no complaints. Just pure bliss and only tiny everyday problems (though pregnancy symptoms did … [Read more...]

Another birth story

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Baby Jonah has arrived!! Here is how that day went: "Daniel wakes up from a late nap cause he's been sick and without much thought I give him the heads up that I may be in early labor. He helps me pack the last of my things and takes my suitcase downstairs while I start to enjoy a bath. He comes … [Read more...]

I got my hair did y’all

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Less than a month till baby comes!! I've done several things this week to get prepared like seeing my obgyn, getting my teeth cleaned and thinking about packing my hospital bag, but my favorite thing was what I did with my hair. I colored it RED and chopped it off. It was three different colors. … [Read more...]

Eight months and excited!

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Hey guys!! As I write this I am eight months pregnant with my second kid. This one is a boy and although it took some time for me to warm up to that fact I am beyond excited now! I'm excited for this little bundle of joy and sunshine to get out of my belly and join our family. So many adventures … [Read more...]